Ah, your mid to late twenties. What a time to be alive. And if you’re a woman, chances are that you’re inundated with all extremes of your peer group. Some folks are buying homes, having babies and getting married. The other group are climbing the corporate or social ladder, getting accolades and achieving their goals. And the rest of us are figuring shit out, trying to travel the world or making plans to live abroad.
There’s a lot going on and most of us don’t know what the hell to do.
But specifically as a cis woman, I feel the pressure mounting when it comes to romantic relationships. It feels like I started getting the “so are you seeing anyone/getting married/buying a house/having spawn?” questions straight after 25. I’ve been in relationships before and that’s not the issue here, it’s just how differently you’re treated when you don’t have a partner.
It’s like your opinions suddenly don’t matter as much, simply because you haven’t reached the #final #stage of adulthood aka finding a man and managing to “keep” him. It’s very subtle, until it’s not. Nothing is cute about belittling grown women for leading a life that makes them happy.
I’m a grown person with a career and responsibilities. I’ve made very deliberate decisions to curate the life I lead right now.
It seems like my friends who are in their late 20s and single rn have stopped focusing on their singleness and have been making impressive, personal strides in their spirituality and career. The feeling of ‘expiring’ as a woman can be ever pressing, but I think can be conquered within.
Rachel Nguyen, That’s Chic
A large chunk of my close friends are single and/or living abroad with no desire to have kids. And the ones who do have children or are married are never pushy about my own life choices.
The truth of the matter is, there’s a lot I want to do and experience before I settle down. I don’t want to resent choices I’ve made, when I could just live the life I want? At the ripe “old” age of 27, I get up and choose myself every damn day. I do what I want, when I want and am beholden to no one. Isn’t that radical enough?
And maybe I will fall in love or settle down one day but damn, I’m not waiting around for that shit to happen. Being single isn’t some hopeless occurrence in my life, it’s on purpose and my damn choice.
Thanks for reading!
x A
alyx carolus 