Updated October 2018

October has quite a few events from Fair Trade month, spooky Halloween to campaigns about breast cancer awareness.

Well, another little known fact about October is that it’s also home to Asexual Awareness Week. Running from 22 – 26 October this year, the international campaign that seeks to educate about asexual, aromantic, demisexual, and grey-asexual experiences.

Doesn’t that add a whole layer to sexual orientation?

Now, if you’re not familiar with the above terms regarding asexuality, you can have a look here.

How do I know all about this?

I’m a whole demisexual. I’ve been identifying as that for over two years. 

How did I get here?

I had recently started watching a YouTuber named McKenna Kaelin, (formerly simplykenna, now cosykitsune) and one fine day she posted a now deleted video about her sexuality.

I was like, “Oh okay, she’s probably bi or something”.

Alas, she was not and proceeded to tell her audience more about what it means to identify as aro & ace and I was shook. This was the first time I had seen content explaining asexuality (by an actual ace person).

Long story short, I did some research and:

I realised my teen years were filled with crushes on FRIENDS (and the occasional person I could romanticise but never take anything further with).

I also had many MANY many MANY literary character crushes. I did have a wild hoe phase from around 19 – 23 but a lot of it was based on my environment (university) and wanting to fit in with my peers.

Eventually, at my big old age 25. I realised I was on the spectrum and became way more vocal about it. I wish I had this information when I was younger, because I definitely would’ve felt less pressure to fit in. 

 

I’ve also had a shift in my politics. I found that a lot of people hardly ever acknowledge my identity or recognise that my general apathy toward sex was actually okay and acceptable too. And quite frankly, being sex positive means you respect people who don’t have the desire to have it either.

“I could never go without sex.”
“Omg, why would you do that?”

Me: 

Do you want to know more asexuality and the varying identities on the spectrum?

Check out these resources: Asexual Awareness Week and AVEN

Most importantly if you think you’re ace/aro/demi, etc, you’re valid and you don’t need to justify your identity to ANYONE. You know what your truth is and you don’t have to waste time trying to convince other people to understand if you don’t want to.