I went through a particularly rough PMS/ period last month and in the midst of a cramp that felt like my body was eating itself, I wondered about how we don’t often chat about periods.

And as luck would have it, I wrote this just in time for another hellish period. Welcome to day 1.

(And while you wondering about how we got here, please note when I refer to periods I’m speaking to anyone who has one.)

Nausea, anyone?

So in my later years, I’ve been getting bouts of nausea whenever I’m PMSing, on my period or ovulating. I get naar so often, I’M ready for an nausea Epi Pen. I will gladly stab myself in the leg just so it can end. It gets really terrible over my period, to the point I’m ready that it interrupts my day. The issue? I don’t remember this in the Always Ultra adverts and quite frankly, I’m pissed.

Constipation vs Diarrhoea

Another lovely thing about periods is that you’re either ready to go, or you can’t go. Taking a dump can be a thrilling experience. Your cramps might leave you hurting while you go to the bathroom or you might not even go. Delightful.

Farts

While your bowel movements are still trying to figure out what they wanna do, the rest of you is hella active. I’m talking farts and plenty of them. There’s air up in there and it’s going to come out.

Coughing/Sneezing

Enough said?

Living Libido Loca

You literally remember why your body gets a period and that you’re primed for procreating right now.  It’s wild.

What a clot I got

Clots on clots on clots. It can be a bit scary to see the first time around, they’re “normal” to have.  However, you should go see a doctor if you have heavy bleeding/big ol’ clots all the time because they can be a sign of a bigger health issue.

There’s a whole lot that goes into period time, from choosing your products (cups, pads, tampons) to busting out the period underwear. I wish there had been more candid chats about it when I was growing up and not just a singing Always ad. Shout out to all the people on the internet who made me feel less alone and taught me that my menstrual issues were more common that I thought.

Now, hand me the Myprodol.