What’s the rush?

As much as your early twenties are a jump, they’re quite terrifying. I’m finally turning 25 in about two months and have consistently felt the pressure to succeed (mainly from myself).

From 18 to 23 it was a blur of getting my degree, crying because I was stressed, partying until the sun came up and finding a space where I belonged (even if just for a while). Rhodes was a place I found and lost friends, made incredible memories and also realised that small towns were never ever made for me in the long run

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Entering the workplace has been a daunting experience but it can also make you fearful about your own progress. The responsibilities that you have and the career you want to build – can let your other interests slide to the side.

In my case, I’m surrounded by really incredible women who do things that literally seem out-of-this-world. From launching events, to writing whole books, to studying science or performing in front of crowds. It’s hard to feel like your work/ little soul might have a place in this world. Yet, we have no idea what our peers are going through, amidst the accolades. We’re all trying to keep it together, hey?

I tweeted about it but I am in the process of getting myself out of the comparison game – or just being worried about not doing enough because my peers are.

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But I’ve also realised I’m way too hard on myself – I’ve always said that no one can tell me shit more than I tell myself. People’s words may have hurt me at a point but honestly the internal dialogue I have on a daily basis is incredibly harsh.

When I was in high school, it was about getting the fresh fuck out of that hellhole to get to varsity. Once I was in varsity, I kept dreaming about my career (granted I had no clue about what I wanted to do). But the idea was that there was always something more waiting for me. The rush to a better job, a new city, a fab adventure and a thriving life.

But that’s exhausting.

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So now I focus on being a bit more proud of what I’ve achieved for my damn self. I have a job I love, I live in a city that is pretty beautiful (and also seedy) and I’ve climbed the little hurdles in my life (with some flair too). There will ALWAYS be something more waiting but I need to enjoy right now, right here. I am enough no matter what place I’m in. There’s literally no rush.

And that’s a choice I now make every damn day.

 

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